Someone in the world thinks it’s a good idea to remake THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT, a film in which Ashton Kutcher time travels with the intent of altering the present by making minor changes to the past. Does that someone also think it’s a good idea to reinstate the greatest alternate ending of all time?

To further explain, in THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT, Ashton Kutcher’s childhood sweetheart is Amy Smart. When Amy Smart’s parents split up, she decides to remain with her pedophilic father to… hang out with Ashton Kutcher more (if any of you would make this terrible decision, please speak up so I can ask you more questions). As one would expect, the remainder of her childhood and subsequent life turn out terribly. Thus, Ashton Kutcher uses his time travel abilities to change small details throughout their personal history in order to improve Amy Smart’s situations. It often makes things worse. I mean, in one scenario, she has really terrible teeth. Another highlight is when their kid versions go see SE7EN in the theater.

There are no other highlights because the ultimate highlight, alternately known as “the greatest alternate ending of all time, was deleted from the film. In it, Ashton Kutcher decides the best way to save Amy Smart is to never have entered her life in the first place—to have never entered life in the first place. He gets all his time travel points up and heads straight to the moments in which his mother is about to give birth. There, in the womb, he strangles himself with the umbilical cord.

If you would like to see this in action, please see the video below. It’s totally cued up. As for the remake, I have no idea why it’s happening, but original co-writer and director Eric Bress is on board. [Variety]

About the author
Samuel Zimmerman
Fangoria.com Managing Editor Samuel Zimmerman has been at FANGORIA since 2009, where fresh out of the Purchase College Cinema Studies program, he began as an editorial assistant. Since, he’s honed both his writing and karaoke skills and been trusted with the responsibility of jury duty at Austin’s incredible Fantastic Fest. Zimmerman lives in and hails from The Bronx, New York where his pants are too tight and he’ll watch anything with witches.
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